Art and Mental Health Interview: Nessa Nachelle
Art and Mental Health Interview: Nessa Nachelle
"My mental health symptoms definitely altered productivity creatively and professionally. Currently, however, I am just focusing on what I can control and what I can do right here and right now."
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A while back, Nessa Nachelle generously completed my interview questionnaire about her experiences with the relationship between art and mental health. I had been working with this material for a book project that’s currently on delay but remembered that I’d never shared her words with you here. So, I wanted to do that today. Here’s that interview.
What would you like to share with us about your own experience of mental health?
Hello! My name is Nessa, and I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety back in January of 2020. As a 23 year old college student and artist, I struggle daily with emotions and the way that I process through my feelings. I am a model as well as a published poet and writer, and I create work based on my own experiences and through the use of images in modeling and imagery in writing. When I’m writing, however, I express how I’m feeling through my writing, because often, I am too frustrated or depressed to verbally explain them to others. As a result, communication was and still is a big part of my struggles with depression and anxiety.
In what ways have mental health symptoms affected/impacted/altered your art?
When it comes to creating my art, I struggle heavily with motivation. I often feel so tired and drained mentally, that it frustrates me all of the time. I become irritable and I feel alone. I feel discouraged and I feel disconnected from my work because I’m my mind it’s like I want to peruse my work and my dreams so bad, but then I find myself laying in bed and crying because it’s like I just can’t. That motivation and that drive to get up and out of the bed sometimes really is just the hardest step.
I absolutely understand that feeling. Do you have more thoughts on that?
My mental health symptoms have drastically forced me to change the direction in which I create my art. Sometimes, this includes just beginning my art. For modeling for example, I used to set up and schedule ahead, plan my shoots, coordinate my outfits, hair and makeup, etc. but now, it’s like I do it when it’s convenient for me. There is no more planning heavily for it, it’s more of I do one thing at a time, instead of planning for a shoot all at once. With my writing, I used to write poems and articles easily and with so much creative freedom used to express myself. Today, I still write and publish my work, but it takes a lot longer, and often times, I struggle to even finish pieces. Currently, I have pieces I’ve wanted to publish for years now, but still haven’t manifested the strength to do so, because I just feel so drained.
So often, we want to be productive creatively, but our health just doesn’t allow it in the way that we want to or think we should.
My mental health symptoms definitely altered productivity creatively and professionally. Currently, however, I am just focusing on what I can control and what I can do right here and right now in this moment. I am learning to ask for help and how to deter from neglecting help when it’s offered. I am working on taking things one step at a time, and understanding that it’s okay to work at my own pace.
Previously, I used to be embarrassed of myself and I used to feel guilt and shame from others for having a mental illness. Now, however, I work on focusing on me and putting myself first to care for myself. Sometimes my work takes off when I have a burst of energy and motivation and it feels like I am thriving! Other times, I cry and I scream and hate my life and the pain I’m in, and the fact that I feel alone each and every day and just suffering from being anxious and sad all of the time.
How has art been therapeutic for you?
When is came to art with modeling, I liked to create raw images in black and white that portrayed how I was feeling, whether it was a genuine laugh and smile or if I had an angry and frustrated face. Nevertheless, the images always spoke to me. The images helped my to see myself through a new perspective while battling my depression and anxiety.
With my writing, I was able to express the lost words I desperately and eagerly wanted to use to explain to others what it felt like and how I was hurting as well as how I was healing, when I couldn’t find my words.
I love to know what other creatives are reading … any recommendations?
Two of my favorite books that helped me work through my depression a bit were “Already Enough: A Path to Self-Acceptance” by
. In it, Lisa Olivera explains what it means to be seen as ‘Enough,’ even when you’re feeling like you’re not. She reflects and uses examples that helped me open my eyes a bit more on the idea of what I struggle with the most: perfectionism.The other book I really highlighted in my life that helped with my anxiety a little bit, was “Calm the %*@# Down” by Sarah Knight. In her book, Sarah Knight does a good job captivating a younger adult audience who struggles with anxiety and how to control the things you can control as well as how to separate what you can’t control.
They are both really good books, and two books that you can kind of flip through until you find the pieces of them that speak to you the most.
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Thank you, Nessa, for sharing a glimpse into your life; I am struck by how much you have already achieved, and love that you are able to accept your own pace in order to keep creating whilst also attending to what you need to stay well.