What the heck am I really doing on this platform anyway? What do I want to be when I grow up? The messy truth of myriad answers that are hard to find when you're not able to hear your own heartbeat ..
It can be so messy trying to build up something as a business. There are so many voices telling us “the best way” or “the only way” to do things. And it’s so easy to lose sight of what we are doing and why. Witnessing you as you navigate through this journey.
Thank you. I appreciate being seen. Sometimes all of those other voices are truly helpful in moving my work forward ... and sometimes, like now, I just get totally lost in them and forget to trust myself!
The resonates, Kathryn. At the end of 2023, I was actually planning to leave substack altogether and migrate my list to Mailer Lite as a regular email list because I needed to cut out the noise. I felt like I could no longer hear myself think and I was tired of planning the content game. But then the new spam filter rules meant I couldn't switch to Mailer Lite because I don't pay for an email address associated with my domain name, so... I kept my substack, but starting using it as I would a regular email list. It's a compromise, and one I frankly don't like. I still subscribe to a bunch of substacks, but only as a free subscriber, and I read maybe two or three pieces a week. I read them in my email. I don't login to substack anymore except twice a month to post my newsletters. I don't have any answers. Only solidarity.
Thanks for sharing, responding, resonating. It means a lot. I switched to Substack from Patreon because I was already doing a "by subscription" newsletter there and this is a far better platform for that. However, I got really wrapped up in all of the tools and ideas and marketing options for making it a feasible financial approach, and now I'm revisiting. And I'm definitely trying to find my balance with the whole Chat/Notes/Comments social media aspect of it ... Messy. But figuring it out. I think.
I’m building in public too; and it’s messy. I don’t think there’s any other way. But it needs to be for me, first and foremost. I can’t pander to algorithms or top tips or any of that, otherwise I simply stop. The trick to keeping going is to make it something that moves ME forward. If people like it, it’s a bonus. But I do have the luxury of a supportive wife who earns just about enough, although she’s killing herself doing that.
Awesome that your wife is able to do that right now. I've supported myself as a writer for the past twenty years in this wonderful but pricy city so it's a constant negotiation for me ... at times, I think about just getting a "regular job" and "writing for me" but that isn't truly what I want either. I love how you phrase it here though: "The trick to keeping going is to make it something that moves ME forward." I'm going to mull on that nugget. Thank you.
My wife's cup of good will runneth over, but it's not bottomless. It's a challenge for me sometimes to handle the guilt when I hear her working through the night to meet deadlines. But, on the upside, the creative work I'm doing and the good habits I'm building have all massively contributed to my mental well-being and sobriety. That's what counts. I just suck at the business side.
Reminds me a little of my parents ... Mom worked two full-time non-creative jobs. Dad had a creative career that made some money but not consistently because the "business" part was rough for him. It's a tricky thing to navigate for sure.
...seems a smart self help strategy to be honest...trying to read and follow and maintain 400 active creative relationships sounds like such a tax and based on what i have read by you, i think you are creating joy more than anything else...so maintaining that through whatever means seems sound...i see folks "subscribed" to 1000+ substacks and mostly know they re either A.I. scrapers, and/or only reading a handful of those "subscriptions"...a clean room is ready to make another mess...
I wonder if people see me subscribed to so many and think I wasn't reading them or wasn't real?! I think it's amazing that there are so many inspiring writers here that there are that many I really enjoyed reading. However, it really helps frame it when you describe as "maintaining 400 active creative relationships." I got a degree in counseling but then didn't become a therapist and a key reason was that I realized that my mental health couldn't handle having that many intense 1:1 relationships ... So this framing of it helps remind me of that as it relates to my work here. Thank you!
Kathryn ... I have no answers or even suggestions. I appreciate your honesty and imagine that there are many of us who are mucking about in the same quandary. Much earlier on my entrepreneurial journey I learned that most of the "fast and easy" stories were told by people selling "how to make money," "how to have better sex/love," or "how to lose weight." I call them the big 3 and realized I'd probably never have the get rich quick story of my dreams.
I recently wrote about Marta Becket who, when no one was coming to her opera house in the middle of nowhere, painted an audience and danced her dances for them. (Obviously, she had a husband or someone who financed her.) All of the "stars" we know of are probably matched by a factor of 2 ... or 10 ... with others probably equally talented and dedicated but, for whatever reasons, didn't ring the fame and money bells.
My current resolve is to make peace with the financial gods and follow whatever creative paths beckon. Best wishes and may your path embrace you.
I loved that piece you wrote on Marta and am glad you referenced it again here.
Figuring out my relationship with money as it relates to creativity (or vice versa) has been a lifelong thing. Maybe I'll write more about this soon but it really goes back to the choices my parents made and the way those played out and although I've done tons of emotional work around this, I don't think I've fully resolved it, so when things get dicey (financially not stable, creatively blocked), I tend to revert to a fear-based place that isn't useful for me. It's good to remember that. I suppose I mention this because my father always kind of tried "get rich quick" things even though he didn't believe in them. He also maintained a lifelong amazing creative career ... that rarely made much money. So I'm sitting with that.
Out of nowhere, somewhere, anywhere, Ram Dass came to me with his "We're all just walking each other home." Maybe that's what Substack is. For some of us, it gives us a home base, to others it brings fame and fortune. I never expected creativity to be part of my path and am still in awe that I get to play here. However, I did my time in the Social Security line so the money thing is kept at bay by a thin and shaky wall.
Connecting with you and other writers here is a true gift. Plus, one thing about Marta that I don't know for sure enough to write about is that I don't think she was hitting her goals in New York so she struck out on her own with a one woman show ... until a flat tire dumped her in the desert where she found a dilapidated building with a small stage ... and little hope of an audience. Had I been a friend of hers at the time, I'm sure I would have questioned her sanity. Now, she makes me wonder about what makes someone stay the creative path when the world is not saying "attagirl." You're the mental health writer ... what do you think?
The best answer I have about the creative path question is that most people say that they keep at it because "they have to" meaning that something in their soul calls them to do the work no matter what, meaning that life just isn't worth trucking through without it. But that, right there, is really the messy part that interests me - why? when it can be so hard and painful and the world doesn't seem to want it, why must we do it anyway? - No answers but I love exploring the question.
Thank you for sharing this. I think a lot of us that have been on the platform since before Notes launched are really reckoning with the changes (some good!) and how to navigate this platform with more authenticity than overwhelm. I'm grateful we can have conversations like this and be real about the mess, even when it's not charming. Chin up, glad to have you as part of this community!
Thank you. I really appreciate you sharing that. Notes was already here when I showed up ... but what I loved most here was how much it reminded me of the old days of blogging, when we would connect in the comments instead of on social media. I still love that. There are good changes, as you said, and I think the more "social media" aspect that shows up on Substack can be a tool perhaps but I definitely have to renegotiate my relationship with it all.
one of the first questions you're asking is: why anybody would read this? reading you is my way of supporting you, supporting all the hard work that you put in. paying somebody on substack is very simple for me: i don't have the budget to do that. if i don't have the money to buy a newspaper everyday, than i don't buy it and just watch the news on tv or read the headlines on twitter. because i can't afford to pay for any subscription, i've turned off my paywall, it seems only fair.
subscribers will come and go, i've learned that long time ago and i'm ok with it. if you want/need/feel to unsubscribe from me, please do, no hard feelings, i won't be offended and you're still close to my heart.
I'm asking myself a lot lately whether simply reading someone's work is supporting them for me personally. Part of my unsubscribing is related to that as well - because I'm not sure that I think it is ... I guess it's the flip side of what you're saying: you know you're not going to pay so you don't put up a paywall and I'm not sure of the value of too many non-paying readers so I'm not sure that I should be a non-paying reader to others.
I want to note that this isn't a judgment on anyone at all who is an unpaid reader; it's about where I'm at in my own career, having put out free "content" for many many years and not being in a place where that makes a whole lot of sense anymore. We are all here on this platform for different reasons. Some people really do value just eyeballs on their creative work, or the connections that lead to jobs off the platform, or all kinds of other things. And there's value in that for sure.
Part of me believes that doing the work I'm truly meant to do will take me where it needs to take me so I want to just do it and not worry about the financial aspect but my debt says perhaps I should consider otherwise. Just puzzling through. Finding my heart.
Messy, indeed! I know these feelings all too well.
If it's any consolation, I neither expect nor insist that ANYone read my stuff every day- I just write way too much for most folks, and even if it's only a five minute read, if you're doing that every day, then I'm a pretty big part of your life, etc. I'd also never take an unsubscribe personally (just speaking as someone who is also seeing how far and where this experiment can go).
I am really fascinated lately with how often I see people expressing uncomfortable feelings around this pressure that they feel to read everything someone writes or some variation on that. I think there's something super interesting in there about the expectations we place on ourselves and the way we react to them as it relates to unwritten rules of etiquette or expectations for the creator-consumer relationship that we might have but not express.
Let's do a brief side-piece on the principle of reciprocity, most famously expressed by Ben Franklin in his own autobiography. People even call it the Ben Franklin effect! If you're interested, you could just send me a little bit about your frustrations here. We could make it better by way of a real example.
As as a person who has healed my life with art, I was drawn to your site and find the subject you have focused on to be quite compelling. Keep slugging. You're on your way. Kudos.
I'm a writer. I joined to write and find readers. Substack is so writer-centric--How to post; Hot to get subscribers; How to be noticed--it's not what I'm looking for. The readers I have are not writers.
It was nice meeting you. But with the chaos in my life and little time to write, I will be leaving. If you haven't already deleted (or whatever the term is) me, I understand why you have.
I appreciate your comment a lot here. I am working to focus on the gems that aren't about "how to write/succeed" because there truly is so much amazing writing here. What you write really hits home: "the readers I have are not writers" because historically that's been true of who has supported my work and I want to find some way to get back to those people.
There’s so much here on Substack that it’s easy to try to run instead of walking. I’ve long wondered admiringly at your ability to read and disseminate so much content, and I have to be honest and say that I haven’t been able to keep up with you in recent months. There is a big gap to close between enthusiasm for our writing and paid subscriptions; if there are foolproof answers I am ignorant. In the last month I’ve seen even free subscriptions flatline and this is probably in part down to my own reduced capacity to engage. At the moment I’m close to saturation point so as a reader I value ‘less is more’. We do need to be kind to ourselves but also recognise that these are busy waters to swim in. (PS. When you launched your interviews I thought I had nothing to say; I’ve learned quite a bit since then but it has felt too raw.) A messy answer but I just wanted to say that I hear you.
Thank you so much for this response. It means a lot. First, with the interview, I think it's so critical to honor your own boundaries and needs around that rawness! And I don't doubt that you have plenty to say in the right time and place.
I'm really not sure if Substack is the right platform for what I'm trying to do - create an online archive of material while also building community around the topic - and getting paid by supporters to do that full time. Because the nature of that is that I want to post/share so much stuff as I come across it and also want to promote the work of other writers in this niche ... but that means that people are receiving a million newsletter emails from me and that's too much for people. I created my Monthly Digest roundups as a solution - subscribe only to that, get one email per month with the links to what I've posted and then visit what is right for you in the time that's right for you ... But I'm not sure that's quite the right answer either.
What I really want is one amazing patron that says "here's six figures to do what you're doing here" but obviously that's not a thing.
Kathryn, I admire your honesty here. This had to be a hard one for you to write, but now it's out there and sometimes the act of publishing can make things clearer. You know now that your expectations of a six figure income on Substack were out of line. Still, you've made more of a success of your newsletter than a lot of writers have who have been here as long.
I would ask you not to be so hard on yourself. I know I added to your angst when I overreacted to your paywall. and I apologize for my own actions. It's hard to figure out boundaries when we're trying to build a home that will also make money for us. But I look at your page and what you've been doing with it and I see success! You've helped a lot of people and you should pat yourself on the back for that. I think there would be a lot of people who would be sorry to see you go if you chose that route.
I understand completely your need to drop subscriptions and move away from anything that gives you concern while you're trying to figure out what to do next. I hope you find your answers. And I hope you'll stay.
Thanks Ramona, I always appreciate your responses. And apology appreciated but absolutely not necessary. You said your truth and that alone is important and also it allowed me to really think about what I was doing and why, something I'm still continuing to do in related ways.
I did put too much faith in the idea of "1000 true fans" ... I had been working on a plan for it when Substack came into my awareness and I really just wholeheartedly believed this was where that could happen. And maybe some day in some way it could but not the way I've been approaching it and perhaps not right now. Can that plan still happen for me - maybe on a different platform? I'm not sure. We'll see.
In the meantime, I am enjoying the connections with others around muddling through. And truly your comment is valued here.
I can fully relate to the feeling of too much noise! If I spend too much time on here I too stop being able to hear my own voice and start trying to become something else, what everyone says 'works'. It's a careful titration, but I don't try to read (or respond) to everything and I sometimes step completely away for a few days - that's often when my own ideas start to flow again. I hear you, and appreciate you articulating this struggle, which I'm sure is familiar to many.
Thank you for hearing me and resonating. I began to offer monthly recap subscriptions to people so that they could choose "less noise" for me and perhaps hadn't realized how much I needed less noise myself!
I've been overwhelmed my the amount of subscriptions I have too (though I had less to start with) and am in the process of unsubscribing to some. I'm experimenting with an RSS feed (I got the idea from Sarah Shotts) and I'm looking forward to occasionally checking into some of my unsubscribes when I've got the bandwidth and enjoying those I'm still subscribed to with less overwhelm. I think it will help with my writing as well.
That's an interesting idea. I think what's likely to happen here is that I'll begin to think about people I haven't read in a while and if those come back into mind then it's an indication to me that I want to resubscribe.
Hi Kathryn, one thing that has always impressed me is your honesty. When I first found you I thought, "Oh dear, 1,000 paid subs, hmm surely that takes years to achieve" ..... So to have 43 is a huge achievement, n'est ce pas ?! It shows that people Do value your work. Sooner or later one learns to focus better. To be a good writer, one has to read a lot too. But 400 ? Cutting back, even dramatically is fine. Reducing from "Wide range general interests" to "Specifics" will free up your creative time. I am doing this too, a couple or three a day, yet adding two or three a week. It's a filter, that I imagine many of us here feel the need for. Relax Girl, Recover, Return Renewed. Peace, Maurice
Thank you Maurice - I do pride myself on honest authentic transparency ... I suppose it does take years to achieve 1000 paid subscribers. In my mind, I was coming over with a sort of established subscription-based newsletter and it wouldn't take so long really. I got very enamored of the "1000 true fans" idea and wrapped up in thinking it could happen quickly here. That's not the case and that's okay ... it's time to figure out how it can happen and where and what that means for approaching writing here. I appreciate you being here and helping me mull it over.
This resonates fully with me and is the reason I had to leave Substack ~ I absolutely could NOT hear my creative voice here. I put so much pressure on being here and creating something for my readers and paid subscribers, that it took over my life. I finally decided to look at Substack as another creative medium I was trying out…and when it wasn’t for me, I accepted it in the same way…like any other creative pursuit I had tried previously and realized, it wasn’t the right medium for me. Substack is a great concept, but hard to pull off artistically.
I think that is a really wonderful approach to Substack - a creative medium that may or may not be right for you. And a wonderful approach to trying new creative things in general! Thank you for sharing that.
It can be so messy trying to build up something as a business. There are so many voices telling us “the best way” or “the only way” to do things. And it’s so easy to lose sight of what we are doing and why. Witnessing you as you navigate through this journey.
Thank you. I appreciate being seen. Sometimes all of those other voices are truly helpful in moving my work forward ... and sometimes, like now, I just get totally lost in them and forget to trust myself!
The resonates, Kathryn. At the end of 2023, I was actually planning to leave substack altogether and migrate my list to Mailer Lite as a regular email list because I needed to cut out the noise. I felt like I could no longer hear myself think and I was tired of planning the content game. But then the new spam filter rules meant I couldn't switch to Mailer Lite because I don't pay for an email address associated with my domain name, so... I kept my substack, but starting using it as I would a regular email list. It's a compromise, and one I frankly don't like. I still subscribe to a bunch of substacks, but only as a free subscriber, and I read maybe two or three pieces a week. I read them in my email. I don't login to substack anymore except twice a month to post my newsletters. I don't have any answers. Only solidarity.
Thanks for sharing, responding, resonating. It means a lot. I switched to Substack from Patreon because I was already doing a "by subscription" newsletter there and this is a far better platform for that. However, I got really wrapped up in all of the tools and ideas and marketing options for making it a feasible financial approach, and now I'm revisiting. And I'm definitely trying to find my balance with the whole Chat/Notes/Comments social media aspect of it ... Messy. But figuring it out. I think.
I’m building in public too; and it’s messy. I don’t think there’s any other way. But it needs to be for me, first and foremost. I can’t pander to algorithms or top tips or any of that, otherwise I simply stop. The trick to keeping going is to make it something that moves ME forward. If people like it, it’s a bonus. But I do have the luxury of a supportive wife who earns just about enough, although she’s killing herself doing that.
Awesome that your wife is able to do that right now. I've supported myself as a writer for the past twenty years in this wonderful but pricy city so it's a constant negotiation for me ... at times, I think about just getting a "regular job" and "writing for me" but that isn't truly what I want either. I love how you phrase it here though: "The trick to keeping going is to make it something that moves ME forward." I'm going to mull on that nugget. Thank you.
My wife's cup of good will runneth over, but it's not bottomless. It's a challenge for me sometimes to handle the guilt when I hear her working through the night to meet deadlines. But, on the upside, the creative work I'm doing and the good habits I'm building have all massively contributed to my mental well-being and sobriety. That's what counts. I just suck at the business side.
Reminds me a little of my parents ... Mom worked two full-time non-creative jobs. Dad had a creative career that made some money but not consistently because the "business" part was rough for him. It's a tricky thing to navigate for sure.
...seems a smart self help strategy to be honest...trying to read and follow and maintain 400 active creative relationships sounds like such a tax and based on what i have read by you, i think you are creating joy more than anything else...so maintaining that through whatever means seems sound...i see folks "subscribed" to 1000+ substacks and mostly know they re either A.I. scrapers, and/or only reading a handful of those "subscriptions"...a clean room is ready to make another mess...
I wonder if people see me subscribed to so many and think I wasn't reading them or wasn't real?! I think it's amazing that there are so many inspiring writers here that there are that many I really enjoyed reading. However, it really helps frame it when you describe as "maintaining 400 active creative relationships." I got a degree in counseling but then didn't become a therapist and a key reason was that I realized that my mental health couldn't handle having that many intense 1:1 relationships ... So this framing of it helps remind me of that as it relates to my work here. Thank you!
...i am continually amazed by the therapists and caregivers i know and/or work with...to have and hold so much space is such a rich gift...
Same.
Kathryn ... I have no answers or even suggestions. I appreciate your honesty and imagine that there are many of us who are mucking about in the same quandary. Much earlier on my entrepreneurial journey I learned that most of the "fast and easy" stories were told by people selling "how to make money," "how to have better sex/love," or "how to lose weight." I call them the big 3 and realized I'd probably never have the get rich quick story of my dreams.
I recently wrote about Marta Becket who, when no one was coming to her opera house in the middle of nowhere, painted an audience and danced her dances for them. (Obviously, she had a husband or someone who financed her.) All of the "stars" we know of are probably matched by a factor of 2 ... or 10 ... with others probably equally talented and dedicated but, for whatever reasons, didn't ring the fame and money bells.
My current resolve is to make peace with the financial gods and follow whatever creative paths beckon. Best wishes and may your path embrace you.
I loved that piece you wrote on Marta and am glad you referenced it again here.
Figuring out my relationship with money as it relates to creativity (or vice versa) has been a lifelong thing. Maybe I'll write more about this soon but it really goes back to the choices my parents made and the way those played out and although I've done tons of emotional work around this, I don't think I've fully resolved it, so when things get dicey (financially not stable, creatively blocked), I tend to revert to a fear-based place that isn't useful for me. It's good to remember that. I suppose I mention this because my father always kind of tried "get rich quick" things even though he didn't believe in them. He also maintained a lifelong amazing creative career ... that rarely made much money. So I'm sitting with that.
More thoughts always welcome. I appreciate you.
Out of nowhere, somewhere, anywhere, Ram Dass came to me with his "We're all just walking each other home." Maybe that's what Substack is. For some of us, it gives us a home base, to others it brings fame and fortune. I never expected creativity to be part of my path and am still in awe that I get to play here. However, I did my time in the Social Security line so the money thing is kept at bay by a thin and shaky wall.
Connecting with you and other writers here is a true gift. Plus, one thing about Marta that I don't know for sure enough to write about is that I don't think she was hitting her goals in New York so she struck out on her own with a one woman show ... until a flat tire dumped her in the desert where she found a dilapidated building with a small stage ... and little hope of an audience. Had I been a friend of hers at the time, I'm sure I would have questioned her sanity. Now, she makes me wonder about what makes someone stay the creative path when the world is not saying "attagirl." You're the mental health writer ... what do you think?
The Ram Dass reference delights me in large part because of a story related to him and crochet: https://chopra.com/blogs/personal-growth/spiritual-luminaries-ram-dass (first paragraphs under "key teachings"
The best answer I have about the creative path question is that most people say that they keep at it because "they have to" meaning that something in their soul calls them to do the work no matter what, meaning that life just isn't worth trucking through without it. But that, right there, is really the messy part that interests me - why? when it can be so hard and painful and the world doesn't seem to want it, why must we do it anyway? - No answers but I love exploring the question.
It is a deep question ... thinking about it takes me back to the cave artists. Is it just a need to be seen? To say, "I was here"?
Thank you for sharing this. I think a lot of us that have been on the platform since before Notes launched are really reckoning with the changes (some good!) and how to navigate this platform with more authenticity than overwhelm. I'm grateful we can have conversations like this and be real about the mess, even when it's not charming. Chin up, glad to have you as part of this community!
Thank you. I really appreciate you sharing that. Notes was already here when I showed up ... but what I loved most here was how much it reminded me of the old days of blogging, when we would connect in the comments instead of on social media. I still love that. There are good changes, as you said, and I think the more "social media" aspect that shows up on Substack can be a tool perhaps but I definitely have to renegotiate my relationship with it all.
one of the first questions you're asking is: why anybody would read this? reading you is my way of supporting you, supporting all the hard work that you put in. paying somebody on substack is very simple for me: i don't have the budget to do that. if i don't have the money to buy a newspaper everyday, than i don't buy it and just watch the news on tv or read the headlines on twitter. because i can't afford to pay for any subscription, i've turned off my paywall, it seems only fair.
subscribers will come and go, i've learned that long time ago and i'm ok with it. if you want/need/feel to unsubscribe from me, please do, no hard feelings, i won't be offended and you're still close to my heart.
I really appreciate all of this.
I'm asking myself a lot lately whether simply reading someone's work is supporting them for me personally. Part of my unsubscribing is related to that as well - because I'm not sure that I think it is ... I guess it's the flip side of what you're saying: you know you're not going to pay so you don't put up a paywall and I'm not sure of the value of too many non-paying readers so I'm not sure that I should be a non-paying reader to others.
I want to note that this isn't a judgment on anyone at all who is an unpaid reader; it's about where I'm at in my own career, having put out free "content" for many many years and not being in a place where that makes a whole lot of sense anymore. We are all here on this platform for different reasons. Some people really do value just eyeballs on their creative work, or the connections that lead to jobs off the platform, or all kinds of other things. And there's value in that for sure.
Part of me believes that doing the work I'm truly meant to do will take me where it needs to take me so I want to just do it and not worry about the financial aspect but my debt says perhaps I should consider otherwise. Just puzzling through. Finding my heart.
And always inspired by your photos.
Messy, indeed! I know these feelings all too well.
If it's any consolation, I neither expect nor insist that ANYone read my stuff every day- I just write way too much for most folks, and even if it's only a five minute read, if you're doing that every day, then I'm a pretty big part of your life, etc. I'd also never take an unsubscribe personally (just speaking as someone who is also seeing how far and where this experiment can go).
I'm glad you and the dogs are here!
I am really fascinated lately with how often I see people expressing uncomfortable feelings around this pressure that they feel to read everything someone writes or some variation on that. I think there's something super interesting in there about the expectations we place on ourselves and the way we react to them as it relates to unwritten rules of etiquette or expectations for the creator-consumer relationship that we might have but not express.
Let's do a brief side-piece on the principle of reciprocity, most famously expressed by Ben Franklin in his own autobiography. People even call it the Ben Franklin effect! If you're interested, you could just send me a little bit about your frustrations here. We could make it better by way of a real example.
Hi Kathryn
As as a person who has healed my life with art, I was drawn to your site and find the subject you have focused on to be quite compelling. Keep slugging. You're on your way. Kudos.
Warm regards
Tina
Thank you. I appreciate that.
I'm a writer. I joined to write and find readers. Substack is so writer-centric--How to post; Hot to get subscribers; How to be noticed--it's not what I'm looking for. The readers I have are not writers.
It was nice meeting you. But with the chaos in my life and little time to write, I will be leaving. If you haven't already deleted (or whatever the term is) me, I understand why you have.
I appreciate your comment a lot here. I am working to focus on the gems that aren't about "how to write/succeed" because there truly is so much amazing writing here. What you write really hits home: "the readers I have are not writers" because historically that's been true of who has supported my work and I want to find some way to get back to those people.
There’s so much here on Substack that it’s easy to try to run instead of walking. I’ve long wondered admiringly at your ability to read and disseminate so much content, and I have to be honest and say that I haven’t been able to keep up with you in recent months. There is a big gap to close between enthusiasm for our writing and paid subscriptions; if there are foolproof answers I am ignorant. In the last month I’ve seen even free subscriptions flatline and this is probably in part down to my own reduced capacity to engage. At the moment I’m close to saturation point so as a reader I value ‘less is more’. We do need to be kind to ourselves but also recognise that these are busy waters to swim in. (PS. When you launched your interviews I thought I had nothing to say; I’ve learned quite a bit since then but it has felt too raw.) A messy answer but I just wanted to say that I hear you.
Thank you so much for this response. It means a lot. First, with the interview, I think it's so critical to honor your own boundaries and needs around that rawness! And I don't doubt that you have plenty to say in the right time and place.
I'm really not sure if Substack is the right platform for what I'm trying to do - create an online archive of material while also building community around the topic - and getting paid by supporters to do that full time. Because the nature of that is that I want to post/share so much stuff as I come across it and also want to promote the work of other writers in this niche ... but that means that people are receiving a million newsletter emails from me and that's too much for people. I created my Monthly Digest roundups as a solution - subscribe only to that, get one email per month with the links to what I've posted and then visit what is right for you in the time that's right for you ... But I'm not sure that's quite the right answer either.
What I really want is one amazing patron that says "here's six figures to do what you're doing here" but obviously that's not a thing.
I may have to fight you for that person 😀
A worthwhile battle. :)
Kathryn, I admire your honesty here. This had to be a hard one for you to write, but now it's out there and sometimes the act of publishing can make things clearer. You know now that your expectations of a six figure income on Substack were out of line. Still, you've made more of a success of your newsletter than a lot of writers have who have been here as long.
I would ask you not to be so hard on yourself. I know I added to your angst when I overreacted to your paywall. and I apologize for my own actions. It's hard to figure out boundaries when we're trying to build a home that will also make money for us. But I look at your page and what you've been doing with it and I see success! You've helped a lot of people and you should pat yourself on the back for that. I think there would be a lot of people who would be sorry to see you go if you chose that route.
I understand completely your need to drop subscriptions and move away from anything that gives you concern while you're trying to figure out what to do next. I hope you find your answers. And I hope you'll stay.
Thanks Ramona, I always appreciate your responses. And apology appreciated but absolutely not necessary. You said your truth and that alone is important and also it allowed me to really think about what I was doing and why, something I'm still continuing to do in related ways.
I did put too much faith in the idea of "1000 true fans" ... I had been working on a plan for it when Substack came into my awareness and I really just wholeheartedly believed this was where that could happen. And maybe some day in some way it could but not the way I've been approaching it and perhaps not right now. Can that plan still happen for me - maybe on a different platform? I'm not sure. We'll see.
In the meantime, I am enjoying the connections with others around muddling through. And truly your comment is valued here.
❤️❤️❤️
I can fully relate to the feeling of too much noise! If I spend too much time on here I too stop being able to hear my own voice and start trying to become something else, what everyone says 'works'. It's a careful titration, but I don't try to read (or respond) to everything and I sometimes step completely away for a few days - that's often when my own ideas start to flow again. I hear you, and appreciate you articulating this struggle, which I'm sure is familiar to many.
Thank you for hearing me and resonating. I began to offer monthly recap subscriptions to people so that they could choose "less noise" for me and perhaps hadn't realized how much I needed less noise myself!
I've been overwhelmed my the amount of subscriptions I have too (though I had less to start with) and am in the process of unsubscribing to some. I'm experimenting with an RSS feed (I got the idea from Sarah Shotts) and I'm looking forward to occasionally checking into some of my unsubscribes when I've got the bandwidth and enjoying those I'm still subscribed to with less overwhelm. I think it will help with my writing as well.
That's an interesting idea. I think what's likely to happen here is that I'll begin to think about people I haven't read in a while and if those come back into mind then it's an indication to me that I want to resubscribe.
Hi Kathryn, one thing that has always impressed me is your honesty. When I first found you I thought, "Oh dear, 1,000 paid subs, hmm surely that takes years to achieve" ..... So to have 43 is a huge achievement, n'est ce pas ?! It shows that people Do value your work. Sooner or later one learns to focus better. To be a good writer, one has to read a lot too. But 400 ? Cutting back, even dramatically is fine. Reducing from "Wide range general interests" to "Specifics" will free up your creative time. I am doing this too, a couple or three a day, yet adding two or three a week. It's a filter, that I imagine many of us here feel the need for. Relax Girl, Recover, Return Renewed. Peace, Maurice
Thank you Maurice - I do pride myself on honest authentic transparency ... I suppose it does take years to achieve 1000 paid subscribers. In my mind, I was coming over with a sort of established subscription-based newsletter and it wouldn't take so long really. I got very enamored of the "1000 true fans" idea and wrapped up in thinking it could happen quickly here. That's not the case and that's okay ... it's time to figure out how it can happen and where and what that means for approaching writing here. I appreciate you being here and helping me mull it over.
This resonates fully with me and is the reason I had to leave Substack ~ I absolutely could NOT hear my creative voice here. I put so much pressure on being here and creating something for my readers and paid subscribers, that it took over my life. I finally decided to look at Substack as another creative medium I was trying out…and when it wasn’t for me, I accepted it in the same way…like any other creative pursuit I had tried previously and realized, it wasn’t the right medium for me. Substack is a great concept, but hard to pull off artistically.
I think that is a really wonderful approach to Substack - a creative medium that may or may not be right for you. And a wonderful approach to trying new creative things in general! Thank you for sharing that.