Takes one to know one. <3 I am glad for both of us that we have figured out how to outrun or hide from that black dog most of the time, every now and then perhaps even how to befriend and pet it, and when not, at least not giving up in the face of it. <3 <3 <3
I recognize in my younger self so much of what you went through. Seeking external "projects" that needed to be figured out, fixed, or tended to was always my tactic for getting out of my miserable mind. Sometimes those projects were people. None of that worked. I also fully relate to not wanting to die but wanting to be dead. I hope both if us can manage to never feel that way again. But I admit to fearing it will surface again.
It hadn’t happened to me to that degree in a really really long time and then it came back last fall. What I will say though is that even though it felt bad, having that loved experience of knowing I’d get through it made it manageable even though it was hard. I knew with the right tools I’d find my way through again. I hope it doesn’t come back for either of us but if it does I hope for support and self-compassion.
Thank you for sharing your story Kathryn. It takes a lot of courage to look back on those years of denial and acknowledge the presence of depression. It's also significant that you've recognized the influence of relationships on your mental health. Many people can relate to the idea that our personal struggles often intersect with our interpersonal dynamics. It's a reminder that each person's experience with depression is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all narrative. Your journey resonate with others who have faced similar challenges and help them feel less alone in their struggles.
Thank you for reading through and thinking about what I've shared. Our mental health does frequently intersect with our interpersonal dynamics in unique and complex ways. I'm grateful I understand myself better these days and can have healthier relationships as a result.
What a read. How did you feel writing it and after sharing it? So much of your story here. Though like you say, the briefer version. I’ve always maintained that journalling saved my life (7 years ago) though I haven’t written about it yet. I feel inspired by you to do so. Thank you🙏🔹
I really hope that you'll explore writing a piece about how journaling saved your life. That could be really powerful.
This is a book excerpt I wrote a long time ago so it's hard to remember just how writing it made me feel at the time. From what I do recall, it was cathartic. I've always been pretty comfortable with sharing with others. The biggest thing this time around was re-reading and being able to look at it from the place I'm in now - in a really healthy happy relationship with a lot more love for myself.
Awww I’m thrilled to hear you’re in a heathy relationship with a lot more love for yourself 🥰🙏 same here😍 I used to physically shake &/or feel sick at sharing posts in an open real & raw way. I only started doing it because I thought well, someone has to🤷🏼♀️ didn’t take long to become habit though and comfortable with it. I m so glad Tp hear you found your way through all this & that you’re still here 🙏
I am really glad that you're also in a good relationship and more than that that you've been able to turn sharing into a habit. I really believe that the more we share, the more we make it okay for everyone to share, and the less big and scary and hard and awful it all is. <3 <3
I put off reading this, as Substack marked it as a longer read. I am glad I waited until I had to give it the time it deserved. I need to find my crochet hook.
Thank you for sharing this, Kathryn. Such a heartbreaking story and the journey you’ve been on (continue along). I’m so glad you’ve found an outlet that helps curtail some of the symptoms ❤️
“there’s a lot of strength in being a girl alone with a crochet hook instead of a girl alone in someone else’s bed.” There is a lot of strength in this piece--and beauty and bravery. Thank you for sharing, Kathryn.
Takes one to know one. <3 I am glad for both of us that we have figured out how to outrun or hide from that black dog most of the time, every now and then perhaps even how to befriend and pet it, and when not, at least not giving up in the face of it. <3 <3 <3
Fantastic as always and super brave also. Well done you, you’re forever amazing 😻
💙💙💙 back atcha
💕❤️💗
I recognize in my younger self so much of what you went through. Seeking external "projects" that needed to be figured out, fixed, or tended to was always my tactic for getting out of my miserable mind. Sometimes those projects were people. None of that worked. I also fully relate to not wanting to die but wanting to be dead. I hope both if us can manage to never feel that way again. But I admit to fearing it will surface again.
It hadn’t happened to me to that degree in a really really long time and then it came back last fall. What I will say though is that even though it felt bad, having that loved experience of knowing I’d get through it made it manageable even though it was hard. I knew with the right tools I’d find my way through again. I hope it doesn’t come back for either of us but if it does I hope for support and self-compassion.
Thank you for sharing your story Kathryn. It takes a lot of courage to look back on those years of denial and acknowledge the presence of depression. It's also significant that you've recognized the influence of relationships on your mental health. Many people can relate to the idea that our personal struggles often intersect with our interpersonal dynamics. It's a reminder that each person's experience with depression is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all narrative. Your journey resonate with others who have faced similar challenges and help them feel less alone in their struggles.
Thank you for reading through and thinking about what I've shared. Our mental health does frequently intersect with our interpersonal dynamics in unique and complex ways. I'm grateful I understand myself better these days and can have healthier relationships as a result.
Thanks for sharing your story Kathryn and for being so vulnerable. I think it allows others a chance to see themselves.
I appreciate that. I do believe that every time you share your authentic story, you give simplicity information to others to do the same.
What a read. How did you feel writing it and after sharing it? So much of your story here. Though like you say, the briefer version. I’ve always maintained that journalling saved my life (7 years ago) though I haven’t written about it yet. I feel inspired by you to do so. Thank you🙏🔹
I really hope that you'll explore writing a piece about how journaling saved your life. That could be really powerful.
This is a book excerpt I wrote a long time ago so it's hard to remember just how writing it made me feel at the time. From what I do recall, it was cathartic. I've always been pretty comfortable with sharing with others. The biggest thing this time around was re-reading and being able to look at it from the place I'm in now - in a really healthy happy relationship with a lot more love for myself.
Awww I’m thrilled to hear you’re in a heathy relationship with a lot more love for yourself 🥰🙏 same here😍 I used to physically shake &/or feel sick at sharing posts in an open real & raw way. I only started doing it because I thought well, someone has to🤷🏼♀️ didn’t take long to become habit though and comfortable with it. I m so glad Tp hear you found your way through all this & that you’re still here 🙏
I am really glad that you're also in a good relationship and more than that that you've been able to turn sharing into a habit. I really believe that the more we share, the more we make it okay for everyone to share, and the less big and scary and hard and awful it all is. <3 <3
With you on that one. The more we can make this normal, the more healing that will happen. 💜
I put off reading this, as Substack marked it as a longer read. I am glad I waited until I had to give it the time it deserved. I need to find my crochet hook.
Thank you for taking the time. Means a lot.
Thank you for sharing this, Kathryn. Such a heartbreaking story and the journey you’ve been on (continue along). I’m so glad you’ve found an outlet that helps curtail some of the symptoms ❤️
Thank you. I wish that for everyone - to find something that allows the hard to become a little easier.
“there’s a lot of strength in being a girl alone with a crochet hook instead of a girl alone in someone else’s bed.” There is a lot of strength in this piece--and beauty and bravery. Thank you for sharing, Kathryn.