17 Comments
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Jude Jones (they/them)'s avatar

Thank you for your honesty. I’m afraid I don’t have any answers. I’ve just stopped working to write, after 20 years of employment. This what I might call “career break” is made possible by my partner’s income. So I’m one you might resent. However, the combination of working full++ time and parenting with mental health challenges was killing me. And yet, I don’t know how long I can justify creating without bringing in an income. It has been a week so far, and already I’m feeling guilty.

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Kathryn Vercillo's avatar

I am amazed by anyone who does anything else in addition to parenting. ❤️ I do hope you can release yourself of guilt and enjoy the creative process. It, too, matters despite all my own ups and downs with it all.

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Robyn Bowman's avatar

Good for you. I share many of the same sentiments. It’s difficult to talk about, so thank you for putting yourself “out there”.

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Kathryn Vercillo's avatar

Thank you for seeing me

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Jill Wolcott's avatar

I am supported by a spouse. I still don’t have money to support what I do. I am not embarrassed by the support because it is a partnership. I am both angry and hurt that I can’t have the support I really need.

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Kathryn Vercillo's avatar

This makes perfect sense. I wish we could all be supported in giving the world the best parts of ourselves. ❤️

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Jill Wolcott's avatar

That is truly what I’m trying to do, but it is hard.

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Kathryn Vercillo's avatar

It is hard. I see you in that. <3

And also worth it I think.

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Jill Wolcott's avatar

Oh yeah!

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Creole Polyglot's avatar

I can relate to so much of this, but I haven’t been able to do a lot of those things or gotten as much support cuz I haven’t been able to create as much, due to my illness. I often feel like, if I could just get it together & do those things, I’d be set, but it’s a good reminder that it might not necessarily work out. It’s frustratin when I put so much of myself into a project & get hardly any response, so it helps to have more realistic expectations ahead of time!

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Kathryn Vercillo's avatar

I absolutely understand. There have been times when my creativity was completely stalled due to my mental health stuff and it brings with it a whole set of other challenges. If I condo wave a magic wand I’d give you great feelings about whatever you are able to create at any given time! I deeply believe it matters even if all we are producing is the energy around creativity. ❤️

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Laura Catanzano's avatar

I certainly do not have the answer, but this article is the first one about money that I couldn't stop reading. Thanks for being so vulnerable. It really resonated.

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Kathryn Vercillo's avatar

That means a lot. Thanks for taking the time to comment to let me know.

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Wendee's avatar

Thank you for writing this. I can relate. I've had some major life changes around support (or, actually, withdrawal of support) from a partner. Lots of feelings from the fallout from that and I'm muddling my way through a very different life than I'd envisioned for myself even three months ago.

I love the idea of being able to support others doing creative work, or other folks supporting me to do creative work. But it's difficult for me, because my budget needs to be very lean right now. So I'm thinking about ways we to support each other, when we don't have the funds to do so, and knowing that would really help the most. I'm not sure. And then social marketing says we should be doing this thing, or another thing. And if someone can't pledge $, then at least they can do X, share posts, re-post, etc.. I don't know where I'm going with this comment, but right now, the act of sharing posts to amplify someone's signal also requires energy that I need to preserve more carefully. This is one of those things that I feel guilty about. But we do what we can, with what we have.

I do know that it's been hard for me to write during this time, and I'd pretty much stopped reading Substack posts for the last 4 months. I've peeked at yours from time to time, and the posts I've read continue to resonate.

What can I say? I hear you. I see you. It *is* hard. Oh, it really is hard. But, know that you're not alone. You're putting words to feelings that others feel, and somehow that is making a difference for you and those that read your words. Let's trust that goodness will come. xox

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Kathryn Vercillo's avatar

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Your words mean a lot. And I really hear you around how even giving the energy to commenting/sharing etc can be too much sometimes - it’s important for us to remember we have those energy limits too, not just financial limits.

Hugs around the changes to support. I know that is difficult. ❤️ I am glad you are here in whatever capacity feels right for you.

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Maryann's avatar

I have no answers but I think it’s important you shared your story. There are real people behind free content. ❤️❤️❤️

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Kathryn Vercillo's avatar

I have been thinking about your sentence - there are real people behind free content - repeatedly since you shared it. It’s so important.

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