Trying to find answers in religions and cultures that aren't mine and then through a framework of Family Constellations Therapy, I wonder if we can heal ourselves and our ancestors non-linearally.
This is so interesting, Kathryn. I was raised in a family in which ancestors drank too much, committed suicide, committed adultery, dropped out of school, etc. My own brother, and three years later, our father, committed suicide. We never talked about anything in our family.The only ancestors I knew about were few and far between. I only know from ancestry sites how many actual relatives I have...cousins I will never know or meet. I have only met one in "real life."I suffered from serious mental illness throughout my twenties and early thirties, getting well very gradually. I ended up breaking the cycle...getting well...become a psychotherapist...raising healthy kids to adulthood. I totally believe in generational trauma. I think it gets passed down in our dna, our way of being nurtured (or not), and through parroting other's behaviors. And I'm sure, there's more to it. I'm retired now, but you made me very curious about family constellations therapy.
Big love to you for breaking some of those generational cycles in the raising of your own kids. It sounds like your work in therapy probably helped with that.
I haven't ever done an intensive FCT session but it's something I learned about in grad school and we practiced it epxerientially and I've read about and talked to people about ... and I would like to do a session at some point.
Thank you for writing this, Kathryn. There is so much to respond to here, just from a personal basis. I just wanted to immediately respond to your father's feeling toward the Catholic Church. As a practicing Catholic who has spoken to many people with different relationships to the church, I will say one of the pervasive themes that comes up is abandonment. The church promised something in words yet did not deliver in action. In fact, the church leadership often outright abused their powers in many cases. I don't think this is a church thing, but a human nature thing because wherever there is power there is abuse. That's why the nature of Sin ought to be addressed in catechesis. The word Sin is not a bludgeoning tool to beat people into submission, telling them they're bad all the time. But it is to remind people to be intentional about their actions and make sure actions are rooted in love (as in to want the good of another person).
Of all the generations that have really reacted strongly against the church I would say it is the boomer generation. I don't know how old your dad was, but I wouldn't be surprised if he were reacting to the way the church was in the 40s-90s -- I would like to call these times the modern dark ages. I think something really awful happened. I won't go as far to say it was Vatican II; I think that's an easy cop out. I think a mentality of abuse had infiltrated the church. However, I think things are changing. As a person who left and came back, I have become more optimistic with the religious people I have met. There are still profound disagreements, of course.
Speaking to intergenerational trauma, I would strongly qualify as someone who probably suffers from it, but I've been so wary because I think there are a lot of people who say that have it. I've been in a listening mode to determine what it all means.
All of what you've said makes a lot of sense. My dad was vorn in '52 and grew up in the kind of Catholic church where mass was in Latin. He moved away from his hometown in the 70's and was never involved with the church after that. I don't really know specifically what his issues were ... but I imagine it's complicated and has at least echoes of what you've suggested here.
Also, I appreciate a listening mode ... so often we hear terms over and over in media and it becomes easy to use them - and that doesn't mean using them is wrong but just that it can become shorthand for something that we only partially understand, so listening and considering and taking our time with any of our thought processes is valuable.
This is so interesting, Kathryn. I was raised in a family in which ancestors drank too much, committed suicide, committed adultery, dropped out of school, etc. My own brother, and three years later, our father, committed suicide. We never talked about anything in our family.The only ancestors I knew about were few and far between. I only know from ancestry sites how many actual relatives I have...cousins I will never know or meet. I have only met one in "real life."I suffered from serious mental illness throughout my twenties and early thirties, getting well very gradually. I ended up breaking the cycle...getting well...become a psychotherapist...raising healthy kids to adulthood. I totally believe in generational trauma. I think it gets passed down in our dna, our way of being nurtured (or not), and through parroting other's behaviors. And I'm sure, there's more to it. I'm retired now, but you made me very curious about family constellations therapy.
Big love to you for breaking some of those generational cycles in the raising of your own kids. It sounds like your work in therapy probably helped with that.
I haven't ever done an intensive FCT session but it's something I learned about in grad school and we practiced it epxerientially and I've read about and talked to people about ... and I would like to do a session at some point.
It really sounds fascinating. Thanks, Kathryn!
Thank you for writing this, Kathryn. There is so much to respond to here, just from a personal basis. I just wanted to immediately respond to your father's feeling toward the Catholic Church. As a practicing Catholic who has spoken to many people with different relationships to the church, I will say one of the pervasive themes that comes up is abandonment. The church promised something in words yet did not deliver in action. In fact, the church leadership often outright abused their powers in many cases. I don't think this is a church thing, but a human nature thing because wherever there is power there is abuse. That's why the nature of Sin ought to be addressed in catechesis. The word Sin is not a bludgeoning tool to beat people into submission, telling them they're bad all the time. But it is to remind people to be intentional about their actions and make sure actions are rooted in love (as in to want the good of another person).
Of all the generations that have really reacted strongly against the church I would say it is the boomer generation. I don't know how old your dad was, but I wouldn't be surprised if he were reacting to the way the church was in the 40s-90s -- I would like to call these times the modern dark ages. I think something really awful happened. I won't go as far to say it was Vatican II; I think that's an easy cop out. I think a mentality of abuse had infiltrated the church. However, I think things are changing. As a person who left and came back, I have become more optimistic with the religious people I have met. There are still profound disagreements, of course.
Speaking to intergenerational trauma, I would strongly qualify as someone who probably suffers from it, but I've been so wary because I think there are a lot of people who say that have it. I've been in a listening mode to determine what it all means.
All of what you've said makes a lot of sense. My dad was vorn in '52 and grew up in the kind of Catholic church where mass was in Latin. He moved away from his hometown in the 70's and was never involved with the church after that. I don't really know specifically what his issues were ... but I imagine it's complicated and has at least echoes of what you've suggested here.
Also, I appreciate a listening mode ... so often we hear terms over and over in media and it becomes easy to use them - and that doesn't mean using them is wrong but just that it can become shorthand for something that we only partially understand, so listening and considering and taking our time with any of our thought processes is valuable.
Really interesting read thank you, a lot to think about