"Creativity is a way of life for me and how I interact with the world--- it's one of curiosity, play, meaning making, a beholder of reality and truth-telling."
Art and Mental Health Interview with writer and visual artist Ruth
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Today’s interview is with writer and visual artist
of . I really love the interplay of text and images in the work that she’s shared with us here today where the words become especially poignant because they are few and are set against such rich visuals. I also love how tactile the work feels even though I’m looking at it on a screen. In Ruth’s writing, I especially enjoy when her thoughts emerge in something akin to stream of consciousness.In this interview, Ruth shares with us how anxiety has impacted her creativity, particularly in terms of sharing her work with others, considering whether art should be a source of income, and taking risks such as venturing into new mediums.
Before we dig into the rich stuff, what's the first thing that you would like us to know about you by way of introduction?
I'm just a person looking to express myself and help others express themselves. I want to give love and receive love by all and for all. I really enjoy learning about others' experiences as a person in the world. I enjoy telling and sharing stories. My favorite things about myself are that I am curious, thoughtful, and grounded in my values.
I love that you answered with your favorite things about yourself. We should all remember to center that … and I hope I remember to ask people about that more!
What would you like to share with us about your own experience of mental health?
Anxiety has been a troubled friend in my life since I was a very young. In the past few years, I've learned to embrace and love it. I see why it's there. I have a much better relationship to it where I get curious and hold its hand or even challenge it. I used to have so much resentment towards my mental health, but it actually does a lot for me, and I've seen the power of letting it be there.
I definitely still struggle. I'm more open with myself and all of those I interact with, when it's being loud and active. I care about being open about it so that no one else ever feels alone with their own anxiety. But also to normalize it. I felt alone for too long. I think, in our society, our mental health feels like it's an individual problem to figure out or solve, when I think we have a responsible as a community/society to tend and care for each which will improve our mental and physical wellbeing.
I have come to know and understand how my physical health is intractably tied to my mental health and tend to them as one.
Echoing all of that: mental health IS health, it’s not entirely an individual issue, and being curious about befriending your own challenges can really shift things.
What can you share about your history as an artist? What type of art do you create? When and it what ways did art become important to you? What does being creative mean to you?
I've been creative my whole life.
I've been creative writing since I was 12. I remember I loved every art class in school but didn't think I was a visual artist, but I did know I loved what I created, and I was afraid to embody that love. I started actually making time for and exploring visual art in my late 20's. It wasn't until about 3 years ago, when I actually considered myself an artist because of my own anxiety about the use of the word and when and who gets to use it.
I've had a zig zagged path with creative writing (wrote a blog post on it so won't go into too much detail here), but it's a been a wild and amazing journey.
The visual art I make is typically multi-media with reusable materials and things laying around my house. For me the process of making art is almost more meaningful and enjoyable than the final product. Everything I make is very intentional, meaningful, and I use my feelings as a guide. I've typically made things that are abstract with a few pieces that are of people.
I really came to understand the importance of art in my life during covid when I needed a respite and needed to express myself. Creativity is a way of life for me and how I interact with the world--- it's one of curiosity, play, meaning making, a beholder of reality and truth-telling.
In what ways have mental health symptoms affected/impacted/altered the content of your art?
A lot of what I make is very relevant to my daily experiences, reflections, and being a person in the world which is very tied to my mental state in general. Some of the content of my art involves topics that I've struggled talking about, feeling, and experiencing. Those include (but aren't limited to): loss and grief, social justice issues, race, privilege, and gender.
In what ways have mental health symptoms affected/impacted/altered the process of your art?
I tend to start doing some form of visual art when I'm in a good mental place because I get overwhelmed by getting started and the space that I'm in. My art space as it exists now is not organized and it's not a comfortable space for me--my materials are kind of just in box and I don't have them organized. And I tend to be messy in my process. I need to look at all my materials at once, try different combinations out, and live in the process. Right now, I have to sort of put everything away after I do art because the room I use is also my office and if my materials stay out and thrown everywhere I feel like I can't use it as an office.
I live in a small apartment with dogs who want to use all of my art supplies so that’s my experience with my crochet and collage stuff as well.
How about with your writing process?
In terms of writing, I've found I do write when I feel overwhelmed or anxious about something or something that's been on my mind. I also just write when I get the feeling I need to, and I feel it in my body. I feel less overwhelmed and anxious about writing because it's a cleaner, easier process for me and I've been doing it longer.
Any additional thoughts on the impact of mental health/ thoughts on your creative process?
I will say I typically make art for myself because I get really scared no one else will like it or judge it. I am making my first piece of visual art for my friend (kind of informal) and it's really taken me time to do it because I'm so worried she won't like it and she won't tell me. Also, I said I'd do it for free because then she doesn't have to pay me to something she doesn't like. I worry a lot about the visual appeal of my work.
So much of that is relatable. Art and money and value and self-esteem are all tied up with one another for so many people.
So would you say that mental health symptoms have affected/impacted/altered the productivity of your art? The making of it or perhaps the idea of art as a business?
I would say I do struggle with second guessing my visual art A LOT. I have so many ideas and I get frustrated, overwhelmed, that it has to look or feel a certain way, and it has to appeal (whatever that means) for others for it to be good art (for me to be considered "talented") and worthy of praise and even payment. I tend to stick to making art for myself because of the reasons listed above. And because of the strong need for validation and how connected pay/value can feel with praise and validation, I'd rather not even go there. I would like to try it, I think, but not exactly sure how to keep myself safe in the process. And I don't want to lose my style of art to try to appeal to costumers.
I’m sure that last sentence is going to resonate for a lot of creatives.
In what ways have mental health symptoms impacted your self-perception / identity as an artist?
In many many many ways! I mean it has gotten better over time but I still have this standard in my head of what my style of art has to look like, how connected to my profession it has to be, where my art is seen and viewed, and how "unique" it is. I get overwhelmed by thinking I have to stick to my style or medium. The list goes on....
Can you expand on that part about the medium?
I would say I definitely feel anxious and intimated to explore outside of my current mediums for fear that I wouldn't be patient or loving enough to myself to learn or explore a new medium. I tend to not be patient or compassionate when I'm learning something new. I want to be perfect at it and when I'm not, I beat myself up. I actually really want to explore so many different mediums, but I am very fearful about it all.
In what ways have mental health symptoms impacted the perception of you as an artist by others?
I wouldn't say I have felt this yet because I don't put myself out there enough to potentially experience this.
In what ways has creating art hindered or harmed your mental health? Or been complicated for you?
I would say it does cause me overwhelm and anxiety for feeling like I need to be good enough, artistic enough, talented enough, worthy enough, etc. I second guess my expression a lot so that it's likable and desirable for others and when it's not sometimes I don't value it and look for a lot of validation. I guess I feel like it's super trendy to be any type of artist right now. There are so many people out here doing and be artists, which is great but I often feel jealous or competitive and like there isn't room for me and that causes me pain.
I'm not always sure what role art should play in my life and if it always has to be the same role all the time. I also want others to value art more and generally being creative and receiving the benefits. I try to convince people that it can be beneficial, and we all have creative abilities, but some people just don't see it. I'm not always sure if I should convince or if I have the right to convince. I also have felt pressure from others that there are certain rules you are supposed to follow to be perceived as a good artist and this really messes with me sometimes.
We face all of these challenges as artists, and yet we persist in creating because of the benefits it offers. How has art helped you?
It helps me process my emotions, it helps me express what's true for me in a moment or a season, it helps me regulate my body/emotions and connect with myself, it helps me process hard things. I get a lot of benefits knowing I may have helped someone feel seen or not feel alone/isolated with their feeling or experiences. It also provides a lot of joy and fun for me which is really important to my needs as a person.
In your own words, what do you think is the relationship between art and mental health?
I'm not totally sure I know how to answer this. There are so many aspects to both, and many different touch points given individual and societal context and identities. I do think the relationship can fluctuate given a lot of different factors. I do think our mental states impact our relationship to art in many ways (positive and negative and neutrally). There is a lot to unpack in this relationship--individually, communally, and globally.
Absolutely. That’s a big reason why I am working to create this online library of resources about the complex relationship between art and mental health. Each person’s own unique experience can add up to a body of knowledge that might increase understanding for all of us.
Before we close, something fun: what’s the next book I should read?
Connect with Ruth here on Substack:
and over on Instagram
Some of my favorite pieces from Ruth include:
Housekeeping:
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This is surreal to read. Thank you for continuing to provide opportunities for artists to share their journeys, struggles, and learnings. I APPRECIATE IT!!! Such a pivotal intersection to be highlighting.