What’s True for Me This Week
What’s True for Me This Week
The weekly column here that's a little chatty and personal so you can get to know me and my creative weird sometimes silly sometimes mundane little brain ...
I always invite you to come share what’s true for you in my chat where I make these little updates daily-ish. Sometimes just taking a moment to sit and say “what’s true for me” really makes a lot of things clearer. And I hope what people find there is a safe space for sharing their personal truths.
What’s been true for me this week …
February 12, 2024
What's true for me today is that it feels like such a very Monday Monday. My puppy has diarrhea (no idea why), the movers I planned to use aren't available the day that I had planned to use them, the Internet service I thought I could transfer isn't going to work ... Nothing is terrible, nothing is unsolvable but oh what a way to start a busy week.
I applied this morning for a grant that I am hoping to get for an art project but I feel like I'm really scattered and didn't do my best on it. Something was better than nothing - at least give it a try. But that's not an ideal feeling.
And yet beneath all of this is mostly just excitement about the move, about the art projects, about what I'm learning in school. I knew when I took on grad school again that it would result in change and growth that's going to be beyond what I can possibly even see right now ... and that there would be growing pains in the process. These are good things.
Update: Already heard back that I didn’t get the grant. It’s okay. I really didn’t earn it with that half-baked application and now I have a draft of the application for next time.
February 13, 2024
What's true for me today is that I'm staying home sick, missing class, postponing a work-art meeting. Am I sick? I don't know really. I'm still testing COVID negative although my partner is COVID positive and mostly I just feel really tired and worn down and that might be sickness or it might be life but either way what my body needs is deep rest. So that's what will happen today.
February 15, 2024
What's true for me is that I spent the past couple of days engaged in deep rest. I feel a lot better. It can be so hard sometimes to pause in the midst of the storm and just take time to not do anything. It is often so vital. And I didn't do nothing, really, because rarely do we do nothing. We just forget that the things we're doing count. The petting of dogs, the organizing of thoughts, the reading of books. It's all something.
February 17, 2024
What's true for me today is that my entire house is in disarray because of moving and my entire mind is in disarray because of moving and I'm just accepting that this is what it is even though it doesn't align with the organized life that would really help me with work and school right now. Moving is exciting and wonderful and also A LOT. The a lot is partly the physical and the logistics of actually moving a space. But really most of the a lot is the emotional. I've lived in this apartment nearly 15 years. I had a different partner when I first moved in and then another for six years before meeting this love of my life that I'm moving in with now. I had no dog when I moved in then had my soulmate dog who is gone now and now have these two dogs. So many friends that have sat here with me are no longer living in San Francisco. My father is no longer living and it's weird that this is the last place he'll ever have seen me living in. A lot.
February 18, 2024
What's true for me today is that I have mostly packed up the house and that feels better than not packed but I don't move for a few days so now we're just in limbo in the home and the dogs are super stressed by the confusion of what is going on. Where is our stuff going? Why is there so much change? Why is mama acting so weird?! So today I'm going to be staying home and doing a lot on the computer and having them in my lap and snuggling lots.
Yesterday was a lot of snuggles and lap time as well and also a pup dance party and "find the treats" game and my partner came over and they were so happy to see him and I'm going to be so happy when they are actually living with him next week. (And living with me and me living with him and all of that.)
I'm continuing to mull over what Substack is going to look like for me in the months to come. I posted an idea for a milestone approach the other day and it really didn't receive any feedback ... which is okay, as that too is feedback ... but in reviewing my finances with this expensive move I'm just up in the air about what's going to be realistic in the next few months. So, trying to be patient and not make any big changes and trust that it's all going to work out. And having trouble being patient some days.
Hang in there, Bumi! Hang in there, Kathryn! Y'all got this.
Jersey, Rooroo, Cat and Arty all want me to give a shout out to Bumi and let him know that after this scary, stressful tummy ache week is over, the new home will be waiting for you and so will your stuff! and oh, the boxes the glorious boxes!!!!!