What’s True for Me This Week

The weekly column here that's a little chatty and personal so you can get to know me and my creative weird sometimes silly sometimes mundane little brain ...

Welcome to Create Me Free where I share all of my deep research into and musings about the complex relationship between art and mental health. While I touch on art as therapy and the benefits of creativity, I really dig into the ways that our mental health symptoms can impact our creative process, content, productivity, medium choice, identity and business.

No filter no edit flower photo I just wanted to share with you.

I utilize the Chat tool here on Substack as a spot to nightly share what is true for me that day. Sometimes it’s a deep thought, sometimes it’s a mundane one, sometimes it’s just a recap of what happened during the day. Then I invite others to share what’s true for them that day. I truly want to know so please join me there nightly to touch base! 

Then I do this weekly roundup of what I shared there throughout the week. It’s a way for me to connect with you in a more informal, personal, chatty kind of way than my usual essays and interviews. It supplements the deeply researched stuff that I write about the relationship between art and mental health. It’s me being an artist with mental health challenges just sharing whatever is happening for me that day.

AND NOW THERE’S A NEW WEEKLY CHAT!!!

This is a writers support pod chat for paid subscribers where we actively engage with each other’s work and promote it on Substack and elsewhere.

What I look like this week.

Here’s a recap of what was true for me this past week or so:

September 11, 2023

What’s true for me today is that it was my first long day of school. I really enjoy my first two classes. The final one ... I’ll try to keep an open mind. It’s hard when you’re not immediately engaged by the professor and the content especially for such long hours. But that’s okay. I’m still feeling quite excited to be in school even though I am also very tired. Gonna cuddle up with dogs and a glass of wine and watch reality tv. 

San Francisco is known for having about a million neighborhoods, some of which are just a block or two long, and for the most part each really does have its own vibe. My school sits at the intersection of the Dogpatch, Potrero Hill, and Mission neighborhoods, a small section apparently called the DoReMi neighborhood.

September 13, 2023

What's true for me today is that I feel like I'm being repetitive if I say "I'm tired, I'm thrown off of my schedule, I'm not used to being this busy, I feel behind on everything, I really need to recalibrate" but even if it's repetitive it's what is true. I really just bit off more than I could chew.

I got excited because I finally have energy and time and can focus. So I signed up for grad school which is two full days per week but also lots of reading. And I signed up for a ten week business arts class but mostly because I had forgotten that I applied for a grant to attend it and then I got the grant so I felt like I had to sign up for the class and it's a great class but also it's 1-2 days per week with homework. And also I signed up for

The Substack Soirée

because I really love connecting with people here and wanted to do that but I can't even begin to figure out how to fit those calls into my life. And I actually also signed up for a weekend long writing retreat because I couldn't NOT sign up when so many of the writers who have inspired me most are teaching but that's all weekend later in the month and I don't know if it's doable at all.

I spent quite a lot of money on all of that and I'm having some weird feelings around that. Like regret because I'm not getting the most out of my money and I really couldn't afford to do any of it in the first place (minus grad school which I'm covering with more student loans). But then also feeling okay because the other money is going directly to writers and creatives that I care about so technically it was budgeted for in my annual ten percent artistic tithing budget and I am happy to support those people even if I'm not going to end up attending much. But also I could have spent that elsewhere.

But also ... just feelings around it all. I think I just feel like I wanted to do all the things and now I am overwhelmed by all of the things and instead of shutting down and doing none of the things I am trying to get motivated to figure out what's realistic. Which right this moment means another cup of coffee and some pen and paper planning.

September 14, 2023

What’s true for me today is that I found a way to reframe some of the busy-ness I was overwhelmed by yesterday by recognizing that all of the things I'm doing are working in tandem to support my specific creative goals and dreams.

I had been mentally segmenting it all and feeling like "oh, I have to be in this class at 3" or "read that paper by 5" which is technically accurate but is a frame that really stresses me out.

It helps to look at it as an ongoing flow of things that I'm doing to move my creative business forward and I'm just dropping in to this zoom or that class or that reading as a means to do that.

September 16, 2023

What's true for me today is that I'm holding two opposing feelings simultaneously: a wonderful night for many reasons and then a discomfort for other reasons.

The wonderful night was that I was invited as the guest of a friend who was performing at a big drag event last night and had a terrific time. I love getting to see his art and the friends in his circle that have become my friends. It was a fancy event and I really enjoyed people watching the fashion even in the audience.

My friend and I met ten years ago in grad school for counseling psychology and he also does amazing drag performances. This one was a collaboration with designers using unique textiles.

Extra special was that I had no idea I'd run into the very first friend I ever had in the city there. We met on Craigslist "just friends" way back when that was a thing and he helped me move into the city and we were close for a few years. Then life happened and we mostly lost touch and I've always been kind of surprised that we've never run into each other anywhere because San Francisco is a small big city. But we did and it was delightful.

As for the other side ... not wanting to share details at the moment but I'm having weird feelings about family stuff and mostly I just feel sad around that.

Life is neither black nor white but exists in the grays and all the colors of the spectrum.

What’s true for you today?

Yes, tell me, I really do want to know!

PLEASE HELP ME MEET MY GOAL:

My goal is to find 1000 people who are interested in subscribing to this work at a rate of $100 per year. This shows the world that we as creatives believe artists and writers can and should earn six figures. I practice artistic tithing, meaning that at least 10% of my income automatically goes to support other artists, writers, makers, creatives, performers, etc. So if I meet my goal, we keep at least $10000 of that right in the creative community. I also make every effort to continuously encourage, support, share and promote the work of others.

$100 per year feels like a lot. But it works out to less than $2 per week.