The Perennial Birthday Wish Again at 44
Here's what I want, what I really, really want ...
It’s just about time for my next turn around the sun. 44. It feels auspicious. Turning 44 on 4/13 in 2024 .. something about the numbers feels magical. I’m optimistic. And grateful. Many years of these four and a half-ish decades have been hard but right now things are in a less-hard, more-easeful, very-beautiful time, and I am lucky for that.
So, what might I wish for when I blow the candles out on the birthday cake this year (which will probably be chocolate mousse and not a cake, although I do love a good carrot cake) …
I’ve wished for many things over the years in various forms but ultimately, looking back, I’ve probably deep down always wished for the same thing again and again: the spaciousness in life to be able to keep creatively expressing the work I believe I’m meant to do in the world and the people around me supporting it through their love.
I am lucky in love. I am lucky to have amazing people in my life. Not just lucky, I suppose, as I’ve intentionally focused hard on cultivating that and giving back as much as I get or more and being in community with others in a loving way and practicing gratitude for those I am close with.
And I keep persisting in my creative work. I recently moved homes which gave me a chance to go through approximately three million and two boxes of writing and photography and crochet and collage and drawing. Mostly writing but there’s quite a bit of that other stuff in there as well. Through the depression, through the sometimes draining gigs-for-sustenance, through the many returns to school, through the emotional upheaval, through the grief of things and people lost … I have persisted in my creativity.
I believe deeply in the work that I’m doing shedding new light on the complex relationship between art and mental health, work I’ve been doing in some form for decades now, work I’ve really reinvested in to a monumental degree in recent years. I’ll keep persisting. But the spaciousness to create it full time would be the dream.
In looking back at my creative work, I also came across so many flyers and websites and notes about how to keep funding the work so that I can keep doing the work. And the truth is, I’m tired of having to ask everyone I know and everyone I don’t know for money to support the creative process. And yet, that’s the reality of how it gets done. So I am thinking instead of having a constant push and pull in my life about whether or not to ask again, I’m just going to make this my ongoing birthday wish and also my half-birthday wish. Twice a year, I’m going to remind everyone that yes, I’m still doing this creative work, and yes I still believe in it, and yes, if you believe in it as well then you can support it financially to help it continue. And the other 363 days of the year I’ll just go about my business making the art.
So, here’s the annual birthday plea: I have been dedicated to making creative work that is not just about self-expression but about building community and a body of knowledge around the complex relationship between art and mental health for years. It has resulted in a number of books, countless articles, art exhibits, and many intangible moments of inspiration and connection. I practice artistic tithing; at least ten percent of all of my earned income (and usually much more) goes straight back to other artists/creatives/makers/writers/performers/small businesses. If you believe in the value of this way of life and this work, you can support it.
Option 1: Choose an annual subscription to this newsletter. It allows me to keep counting on this support and makes a huge difference. The base price is $100/year but I have a Sliding Scale option starting as low as $10/year and every bit does count.
Some quick links to different Sliding Scale prices:
24% off in ‘24 - The 2024 discount rate on an annual subscription
Grateful for the Gift - 75% off one year
Gotta Pay the Rent Soon Discount - 50% off one year
Barely Getting By Discount - $10 flat rate for one year
Lucky 13 Discount - 13% off forever
Option 2: Venmo a one-time amount of your choosing to KVercillo … there’s also Zelle and PayPal and Apple Pay and checks and all those things of course.
similar age and simmilar story. Sync.
Happy birthday <3
Done. Happy birthday!