Music as a Moment for Mental Relaxation and Feeling Your Feelings

"I just realized that while I was playing, this playing required so much focus, that I couldn't do anything else. I was just totally in this moment."

Aug 24, 2024

I once went to a delightful outdoor string quartet concert of Disney music. I knew most of the songs, so there was a lot of nostalgia. But more than that just sitting outside in the fresh air with a group of people listening to live music was therapeutic (probably especially because this was during the pandemic.) And the strings were just beautiful. Personally, I can't be sad listening to Disney music. And honestly I can't be anything but in the moment. Music can do that for a lot of us. Bring us into the moment.

In fact, the viola player stopped after one of the first songs and addressed the audience almost as if compelled to do so. He said,

"I just realized that while I was playing, this playing required so much focus, that I couldn't do anything else. I was just totally in this moment."

Then you could tell he felt a bit awkward about saying that and was like, "I was just thinking that." One of the violin players broke the awkwardness by joking, "well if you were thinking that then you were actually doing something besides being in the moment."

It made me laugh because isn't that exactly how meditation is? I know whenever I've tried to meditate in the classic way it goes something like finally getting into what fees like a state of "zen" (or whatever word you want to use) only to immediately find myself thinking, "oh my, I think I'm there, I think I'm in the moment, I think I am meditating." Which means I'm no longer in the moment. But what I've learned is it's a process, right? We're never "in the now" for very long because the now keeps changing. It's an active, dynamic process. The viola player was very in the now and then he thought about it and he was in the next now and then presumably when he went back to playing he got back into his flow and in a new now.

Music has a unique ability to impact flow states by engaging various mental and emotional processes. Different aspects of music, such as rhythm, tempo, genre, and the presence of lyrics, all play a role in influencing how deeply a person can immerse themselves in a task. Repetitive rhythms, for example, can help induce flow by creating a steady, predictable structure that the mind can easily synchronize with, allowing for sustained focus and a sense of ease. Similarly, the tempo of the music shapes the pace of a person's flow state; faster tempos tend to energize and enhance concentration, while slower tempos foster calm and relaxation, making them suitable for more meditative tasks.

The genre of music also matters, as different styles can support various types of flow—classical music often aids in focus, jazz encourages creativity, and ambient music provides a tranquil backdrop for deep immersion. Although I’d argue that all of this tends to be highly personal. Lyrics vs. instrumentals is one that stands out as varying a lot between people for me. I have a lot of trouble focusing at all on music without lyrics whereas for other people a lack of lyrics is critical to entering a flow state.

The violinist mentioned that with Disney music it's so interesting how you still experience the cinematic dramatics even without the lyrics. He said that music is so important to animation. And then added:

"music is important to a lot of things, including us."

Those two comments ("being in the flow") and ("music is important to us") were just very short comments in a beautiful musical performance. But my attention is tuned to notice all of the ways throughout each experience that indicate how art impacts us. And hopefully by articulating it more, we notice it more and can enhance its benefits. And mitigate its drawbacks, since, of course, I believe that there’s also a shadow side to the connection between art and psychology.

Music is one of the arts that really offers some kind of positive healing for the largest majority of people. The funny thing is I don't consider myself much of a "music" person in comparison to everyone I know. It's not one of my go-to resources (although I'm increasingly learning to make it one.) I don't have any musical talent myself and didn't actually get much joy out of trying to play an instrument as a kid. (Actually, there’s a whole story there, I’ll share that someday.) I like live music but I don't like it the way some people like it ... and I don't really like big concerts at all. So it's taken time for me to see this as the benefit it is to me. Writing and visual art are so much stronger healing tools for me.

But music is universal. I've heard it said many times that every culture from every era has music. I don't know if that's 100% accurate but it sounds true. And babies start cooing and making their own music so early. And I know that music affects a different part of the brain from other language so that when people with advanced age-related memory loss no longer remember almost anything they still remember and relate to music from their past. I once heard the founder of When The Music Stops say that music and mental health are the two things that all humans have in common, which is part of why he married the two in his work.

There are so many layers to this but for today, consider how simple it is to turn to music when you need just a moment to mentally relax. For the viola player, it was the act of playing the music in the group that got him into that total flow state. For myself in the audience, it was moments of music that were so nostalgic for me that they brought this flood of feelings and associations yet felt entirely grounded in the moment. Just bring yourself into a moment by putting music on and listening and feeling your feelings.

On the flip side, you may notice when music might heighten a negative mood that you're in. I remember a friend saying once that after a breakup his mom would always put on Patsy Cline songs. And my experience is that this can go both ways. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to feel your feelings. And sad, emotional, meaningful music can be just the thing to help you access those feelings and feel them. If I need a good cry, there are songs that can instantly get me there. On the other hand, sometimes what you need is to move out of those hard feelings and move forward ... and in those times, you might simply need to change the music. Literally.

Tell me, what does this make you feel …

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