Meet Chris, Embracing Genderfluidity to Raise Awareness in the Fight Against Human Trafficking

Dressember helped me become "me" in all the best ways. I will always be thankful to Blythe for creating this wonderful opportunity and as a result giving me the tools to explore my own gender identity

Dressember isn’t over, yet, so there’s still time to raise awareness about this creative fight against human trafficking. Interviewing participants is the way I’m doing that this year. See all interviews here.

I am donating 10% of all December Substack income to Dressember.

What does Dressember mean to you? Why are you participating this year?

I discovered Dressember in December 2020 when I was sad about a year of pandemic and isolation. I realized that I could use my time and energy to do something wonderful for people who really need our help. It was an enormous success, and I was among the 25 advocates across the country, raising over $7,500. I realized this year that even though I'm not going to hit that kind of goal again, I could still make a significant impact through my advocacy.

What does "mental health" mean to you? How does it relate to your own life and/or your understanding of the Dressember cause?

Each one of us deals with our own mental health issues. It's a complicated spectrum, and being consciously aware of how happy I am to be in my own skin every day keeps me confident and outgoing. That's part of what makes the magic of Dressember for me... knowing that we're directly impacting the lives of people who have been marked by pain and suffering, who probably struggle to feel that comfort, and helping them know that they're loved and held in care despite the obstacles they have faced.

In what ways does Dressember allow you to express yourself creatively while raising awareness and funds?

Oh, goodness. Where do I start? Colors and patterns and softness and sparkles and all the things I never thought it was safe to wear. Dressember helped me become "me" in all the best ways, and I will always be thankful to Blythe for creating this wonderful opportunity and as a result, giving me the tools to explore my own gender identity and expression.

New Year’s Day, 2021. I had just finished Dressember, and that first day of January, I was staring down a pair of pants for the first time in thirty one days... and I found myself really, really sad about it.

I’d always known - ever since I was a kid - that I wasn’t a typical boy. I crushed hard on girls in high school, but it was partially because I was so jealous of their outfits. In college, when my girlfriend (now my wife) offered to make me a dress so we could go to a drag ball on campus, I couldn’t say yes quickly enough. I’d always considered myself a strong ally to our LGBTQ+ community, knowing the turmoil that was inside me every single day... but I never really felt like I belonged.

It’s easy to get lost in the gender binary. It’s how society is set up, from the restrooms to the toy aisles to the department store. But on that first day of January, staring down those pants, I burst into tears.

I didn’t sleep at all the following night, searching the internet for... me. I knew there had to be other people like me. People who felt incomplete in how they presented their gender to the world. Yet I was very comfortable being who I was, and didn’t want to “transition” to anything or anyone else. I came across the term “genderfluid,” and it was absolutely an explosion of light and color in my head. THIS is me!

I had a good cry with my wife about it, and we confirmed our commitment to each other. I talked with the folks in my office on the college campus where I worked in enrollment management, and they promised their full support. I know I’m extremely fortunate to be working in higher education, which tends to be more open and welcoming than most workplaces.

And once I realized who I was, I loved becoming... me. Every morning, I would lie in bed going through a half-dozen outfits in my head before I got dressed. I would scour every thrift store and consignment shop I knew, trying to figure out what, exactly, “my” style was. Friends sent me skirts and dresses that no longer fit them, and over the past year and a half, I’ve bought and returned and borrowed and donated dozens of outfits. I discovered the joys of color, and patterns, and being vibrantly, unapologetically myself, every single day.

In what other ways do you think creativity and mental health intersect through the Dressember project?

One of my favorite takeaways of Dressember for me are the "it's more than just a dress" and "you can do anything in a dress" mantras. I feel like they say so much in just a few words.

What is the aspect of Dressember's cause that you most want to highlight?

Trafficking is more local than most of us probably realize. It always felt to me like something that only happened in non-Western or underdeveloped countries... until a few years ago when the FBI busted a guy who lived right down our street for running a trafficking ring out of his basement. It's real, and it's scary.

What's another random thing we might be interested to know about you?

I am an enormous game show junkie, and got my butt kicked on Jeopardy! in 2009, fulfilling a life long dream. Still looking for my personal game show redemption - hey casting directors, call me. :)

You can donate directly to Chris’s Dressember fundraiser here.

If you love this work, consider a paid subscription. I am donating ten percent of all December Substack income to Dressember. PLUS, for every five new annual subscriptions this month, I’m immediately subscribing to another Substacker to support other creatives writing about art and mental health.