Interview with Painter Cierra G. Rowe, Part II

"I have a sensitive palette and like a moodring, it changes depending on mood. It is very therapeutic."

A few days ago, I shared Part I of this interview, which was the visual interview half. Today, the painter shares more with us in words. Meet Cierra G. Rowe.

Before we dig into the rich stuff, what's the first thing that you would like us to know about you by way of introduction?

I am an independent artist with an affinity for painting. As a child, I was naturally very artistic and throughout adolescence that intensified. But in private I constantly struggled. After enduring many years of anguish I, for a spell, thought that I had it under control. I was wrong. A few years ago, these struggles reappeared in the severe form of traumatic grief and changed everything.

What would you like to share with us about your own experience of mental health?

Mental health, to me, is a supplemental term for the question ''Are you ok?''. I definitely wasn't ok and from a young age internalized everything, often feeling ashamed or isolated due to the sheer weight of it all. My relationship with mental health is multi faceted.

What can you share about your history as an artist?

I am an artist whose paintings are driven by emotion, sensitivity and vulnerability. Art has always been somewhat of a constant but I became serious about painting during my adolescence. I was an outcast. I did not fit in. You have two choices as an outcast: 1. Seek approval until you realize that it does not exist or 2. Go your own way. Art and poetry were the doorway(s) to going my own way. One could argue that the meaning of ''creating'' changes everyday. It means many things. Personally as an artist, one meaning that I feel has not changed is the notion that oftentimes creating comes from a very painful place; that somehow the ugliest things propel a person to find within oneself the most beautiful things.

In what ways have mental health symptoms affected/impacted/altered the content of your art?

I witnessed two very traumatic things and those events singlehandedly made me completely stop painting portraits. It is hard for me to talk about so I would rather just leave it at that.

In what ways have mental health symptoms affected/impacted/altered the process of your art?

I would say that the whole process of creating art, for me, is very cleansing. Personal issues that I am dealing with have often compelled me to paint; to release. At times these things may also influence subject matter with my paintings. I have a sensitive palette and like a moodring, it changes depending on mood. It is very therapeutic.

In what ways have mental health symptoms affected/impacted/altered the productivity of your art?

I paint regardless. I do have bouts of difficulties. Panic attacks happen and I may need a minute to gain composure. Sometimes it's more than a minute. Sometimes it's much, much harder. Concerning painting, maybe I will complete eight paintings in a month. Or maybe I will take a hiatus and complete none. How I feel at any given time only enhances the art piece — making it real or more raw. Thing change and, within art, one can only flow with the changes. As mentioned before, painting is therapeutic for me but It has to be enjoyable and I don't make a chore out of it. I don't overthink it. Sometimes I take a hiatus. But I must say that more often than not, I take a hiatus from being online than from actually painting. If I sell a painting — great, that means a great deal to me. But if I don't sell a painting for a while, there isn't much that I can do about that. As a passionate artist, my urge to create never hinged upon whether or not people would buy my paintings.

In what ways have mental health symptoms impacted your creative medium?

I embrace simplicity and minimalism. I'm keenly aware of the control that comes along with creating and gravitated to acrylics due to how much freedom and convenience they offer as a medium.

In what ways have mental health symptoms impacted your self-perception / identity as an artist?

The issues that come from within have to be reckoned with inside, given the accumulation and impact of past trauma. Breaking forces you to see what is important. Dealing with private issues have compelled me to reject modern ideals of what an artist is or should be, in favor of being myself without embellishment and unapologetically.

In what ways have mental health symptoms impacted the perception of you as an artist by others - your experiences of stigma and discrimination, your experiences in groups of artists, etc.

I do not know what other people think of me. I am not sure that it's a healthy thing to consider or question. Such things are the mazes of the world. I think that when you tune in to how people perceive you, you gradually tune out of who you are; you get lost in distraction and doubt — losing yourself. Understanding myself and personal struggles have made me understand that on some level, everyone has private anxieties and struggles.

The fun stuff ... how has art been therapeutic for you? How has it helped with mental health challenges? What are the biggest benefits?

As a painter, art has enabled me to be confident in my style. Therapeutically allowing me to delve deeper and create from a place of truth. Everyone has a different way of speaking through their chosen medium. Cohesively, this only enriches what art is and the importance of it. The biggest benefit is a more refined sense of identity.

In what ways have you seen art help others?

My husband and I have discussed this. It's like halloween. The costume is something that you wear, because you want to wear it. It doesn't matter that it looks strange because on Halloween everyone is. You wear it and do things you wouldn't normally do; you feel more compelled to because you're protected by your disguise. You feel free and invigorated. Art is the inverted costume on Halloween; the real you — the you that no one gets to see until you express yourself. I think that art frees people.

In what ways has creating art hindered or harmed your mental health?

I cannot say that creating art has hindered or harmed my mental health, whatsoever.

Perhaps you don't feel harmed, but art feels complicated (not entirely therapeutic all of the time) for you - what would you like to share about that?

I think that people complicate things. Regarding art, I feel blessed to see it as more of a medicine than something that complicates things.

In your own words, what do you think is the relationship between art and mental health?

In a profound kind of way, it would seem that the two are parts of the same whole. Art reflects the echoes of the human condition; the complexities of psychology, society and time. Art sifts through the trivial differences that are given permission to divide everyone, unearthing the truth; that within any given work of art, lies mysteries and traces of connection.

Visit Cierra’s website and blog.