Art and Mental Health Interview with Key Ocho of Inner Garden Alchemy
"Like how a gardener tends to their garden by sowing seeds, eliminating weeds, and harvesting, we must also care for our inner gardens."
Welcome to Create Me Free where I share all of my deep research into and musings about the complex relationship between art and mental health. While I touch on art as therapy and the benefits of creativity, I really dig into the ways that our mental health symptoms can impact our creative process, content, productivity, medium choice, and more.
Key Ocho is an artist, mystic and writer and the author of Inner Garden Alchemy here on Substack. She began writing therapeutically as a child, something she elaborates on in this interview, along with sharing her experiences choosing creativity and wellness over a corporate paycheck and learning to trust her creative self again.
Let's start with the name Inner Garden Alchemy ... I love the idea that we each have an inner garden ... can you share more about that?
Everyone possesses a distinct inner garden encompassing our energy fields, nervous systems, thoughts, and more. Like how a gardener tends to their garden by sowing seeds, eliminating weeds, and harvesting, we must also care for our inner gardens. Regularly planting seeds of dreams and desires, uprooting the weeds of negativity, and relishing in the fruits, vegetables, and flowers of our labor. Nurturing your inner garden has the power to alchemize any difficulties you encounter. Consistently tending to your inner garden prepares you to turn your pain into strength and resilience.
What, if anything, would you like to share about your personal mental health/ wellness journey? I believe we all have mental health (that it's not necessarily about illness or diagnosis) ... so what does that mean to you?
In 2007, while in college, I was one of 28 students chosen from the US to travel throughout Japan for three months to research the influence of American pop culture on Japan and Japanese pop culture's influence on America. What was supposed to be a research trip opened me to a new way of thinking and living. I remember lying awake inside a Buddhist temple with my classmates and falling in love with the peace I felt. It opened my mind further to other cultures and their beliefs.
From that moment on, I dipped my toes in different forms of wellness, from being a licensed esthetician to a board-certified holistic health coach, all while working a toxic corporate job that took a toll on my mental and physical health. This toxic job led me to find a therapist and discover that I had vocational anxiety and childhood trauma that required my attention. This diagnosis helped me lean deeper into my meditation and writing practices.
In 2018, I had the opportunity to travel to Thailand and spend a morning with a monk. After gaining wisdom and insights from a monk on this trip, I quit my anxiety-inducing job two years later, picked up a retail job to clear my head, and started freelancing and kickboxing to clear and move stagnant energy. Having a clear mind and heart helped me to lean deeper into my spirituality. I shed my fear of picking up tarot as a reflection tool, I began offering guided meditations, creating herbal concoctions, and trying yoga. It felt like I was in the process of returning to myself. This neverending journey led me to become more mindful of how I care for myself.
I am so glad that you were able to find that for yourself and I’m also glad that you’re sharing it with others who may be on a similar journey.
I was very moved by something you wrote on your About page:
"At the tender age of eight, writing became my therapeutic escape and a means to confront reality" ...
Can you elaborate on how it's both an escape from things and a direct way to confront reality?
In hindsight, I was a highly sensitive, empathic child (still highly sensitive). Although I had everything I needed as a child, the energy in my household was consistently chaotic. I was afraid of verbally describing that and thought I would be punished if I expressed that. I constantly walked on eggshells around my father; my mother was my protector.
Around eight, I started receiving notebooks and diaries as gifts. Watching 90s sitcoms of teenagers writing in their diaries piqued my interest in privately expressing myself. I knew there were no consequences or limits. This served as my permission slip to write honestly and authentically.
I had no advanced vocabulary to express myself at that age, but it was a start. Through writing, I could acknowledge my feelings instead of feeling like they were being dismissed; I also noticed patterns of what I kept writing about and what was bothering me. Writing about these things at a young age also helped me to practice how I wanted to express myself to my parents, family members, and friends. I felt a sense of safety while writing: no one could hurt me, judge my thoughts, or shut them down. This was my way of expressing my fears, frustrations, hopes, and dreams. I also used writing to escape reality with fiction and fantasy stories of the life I wished I had: living in a castle with a pet unicorn in an imaginary land.
While writing seems to be primarily therapeutic for you, has it ever been triggering, re-traumatizing, etc?
Absolutely! Before writing about a triggering experience, I meditate and remind myself that I’m safe and this experience has passed. After writing, I hold space for myself by meditating again or finding ways to lift my mood, such as spending time in nature, listening to my favorite song, having my favorite food for dinner, or getting a hug from my husband.
That is beautiful. I think it can be helpful in general to bookend our creative sessions with self-care and particularly when they have the potential to trigger/activate us.
In your birthday post, you wrote about your writing journey ... through high school and college, within professional settings, to now ... how has that journey intertwined with your mental/emotional/spiritual life?
I’m still learning to break out of the idea of my writing needing to be perfect; I just have to like it enough to share it with the world. High school and college are why my best work is written on paper first and then typed. Due to high school, college, and professional settings, I feel resistant when sitting in front of a blank screen. The process of typing anything creative feels forced to me. So now, when it’s time to write creatively, I begin on paper. Sometimes I’ll mix doodles with words to help me express myself to get my point across. That’s how I approach all of my creative work, and it’s liberating. I’m thankful for my high school, college, and professional writing years, it has helped me to learn my writing style and it’s helped me to find my voice.
How does money relate to all that? (I find that when our creative work is also a way that we earn some or all of our money, the money gets tied up with mental health and creativity. You speak to some of that in terms of being able to write well in corporate life but not being creatively fulfilled, for example.) What has that financial part felt like for you in the past and does it feel different today?
Back then, being able to make money in corporate communications but not from my creative writing made me feel hopeless. While working in corporate communications, I was also taking freelance writing jobs on the side and barely making any money; due to this, I think I was subconsciously programmed to believe that my creative work wasn’t good enough to make money. Although I never stopped writing for myself, I stopped taking freelance work to focus on making money in corporate communications. Although I was making just above a livable wage, I felt I was being held creatively captive. From AP style to punctuation and sentence structure, I felt I was wearing creative handcuffs.
As I transitioned into being a full-time freelancer in the communications field, I now work with wellness and spiritual teachers, which allows me to utilize my creative talents to enhance their communication with their audiences. Furthermore, my creative clients have been supportive and encouraging, urging me to rediscover my passion for creative writing. Although I'm still striving to reach my desired financial goals, being surrounded by other creatives who believe in my writing and support my journey is refreshing.
What do you think caused you to be blocked from doing the creative writing that you had always longed to do? What is helping as you emerge into that full creative self?
The creative writing never stopped, but it wasn’t happening as much as I wanted to. My primary focus was always on generating income, and my past experiences led me to believe that my writing wouldn't provide a sufficient living wage. Despite my passion for being a music journalist, I disliked chasing down musical artists and adhering to specific formats for music reviews and interviews to meet publication guidelines on various websites. This structured approach felt like a creative block, as I despised any limitations on my writing and creativity. Moreover, my writing passion was neglected when I focused on making money. Additionally, regular rejections of my creative work led me to adopt a false belief that my writing wasn't good enough.
I decided to step into my full creative self while lying in a hospital bed with an IV in each arm, unsure if I would survive. I was conversing with God as I was in and out of consciousness. So many questions and answers filled my mind. I had a decision to make. Either I live out loud as my creative self and not care what anyone thinks? Or keep my creativity to myself while I allow my creative energy to be siphoned from the clients I serve and not reserve any creative energy for myself. I’ve always dreamt of being a published author, digital or in print. I’ve had that dream since I was a child. I have also been surrounding myself with fellow writers and am attending my first writing retreat in New Mexico this fall to propel myself into my creative energy. Last, moving from the Midwest to the Southwest unlocked an overflow of creativity that I didn't know was there.
I also strongly believe in synchronicities from the universe, all of which seem to be pointing me towards embracing writing wholeheartedly.This response will turn into a book, so I’ll stop here!
I had similar experiences as a music journalist - and in many other writing-for-income situations over the years. I believe wholeheartedly in following our true creative paths and maintain faith that the financials will follow. It doesn’t always feel true but too many times in my life the universe came through with the money right when I thought it wouldn’t so I keep coming back to that myself.
You wonderfully described a process of spiritual alchemy you experienced during illness ... what was the relationship of that to your creative self?
Undergoing the journey of spiritual alchemy led me to rediscover my creative self. Throughout this transformative process, I let go of preconceived notions about who I had to be to have my creativity acknowledged and embraced.
In what ways have mental/emotional/physical illness or challenge impacted/altered/affected your creative work? (I find it can affect process, content, choice of medium, productivity ... not in ways that are specifically "good" or "bad" but just in ways it can be helpful to notice ...)My previous corporate job caused immense stress and depression, leaving me devoid of creative energy. Frequent panic attacks and insomnia only added to this creative block, which I am grateful to have finally overcome. It felt like being trapped in a dark tunnel without hope of finding the light. Fortunately, therapy played a pivotal role in guiding me through this tunnel, reminding me that I am inherently creative and no job should have such control over me. It was a significant turning point where I prioritized my well-being and creativity over a paycheck for the first time.
Yes, exactly that - reprioritizing in favor of mental and creative wellness. Love that.
Now that you've shared all of that about yourself, what is one thing we might be surprised to learn about you?
I taught myself to play the piano by ear because I was tired of my music teacher telling me how to play the piano. Teaching myself the piano led me to pick up the guitar. I can’t read music to save my life and I think like it that way.
That’s amazing. What else do you want to make sure that we know?
Whenever I share my writing here on Substack or social media, I feel like I’m posting nudes. Know that I’m doing all of this scared. But I’m doing it. Enjoy the view.
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Beautiful interview. Lots of wisdom here